When you are on your last legs, and looking back at your life, will you have any regrets? Discover the most common, biggest life regrets, and my suggestions.
I buy a lot of personal development info products. One of my faves, Manifestation Miracle, begins with a study done in Australia by hospice worker Bonnie Ware. She asked dying people about their regrets. The number one regret was living the life others expected instead of being true to themselves.
Biggest Life Regrets
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish I had let myself be happier.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
If you don’t want these regrets when you die, then it’s time to take a no-holds barred look at your life.
Living Life Without Regrets
If you want to live your life, no regrets, ask yourself the following questions:
1. What prevents you from having the courage to live a life true to yourself?
Are you afraid that you’re not good enough or worthy of the life that you desire? Could be that you place your faith in tradition, society, or others to choose what is best for you rather than choosing for yourself? Perhaps you’ve never really thought about what you really want because it may be different from those around you, so it’s easier to go with the flow.
Whatever the case, I suggest you spend some time every day thinking about what you really, REALLY want.
2. What keeps you from having the courage to express your feelings?
Are you afraid of judgement or retaliation from others? Perhaps you’re afraid that your true feelings will hurt or disappoint someone else? Maybe you push aside your emotions because you think that they will only get in the way of accomplishing your goals.
Please consider that repressing your feeling can lead to all kinds of psychological disorder. It is often better to jjust say what you’re thinking and get it over with, rather than stewing and becoming resentful.
3. What prevents you from staying in touch with your friends?
Perhaps you moved away? Maybe work demands a lot of your time? Or, it could be that it is difficult or embarrassing to meet up for whatever reason.
Understand that the quality of your relationships is related to the quality and length of your life. I suggest you make strong, healthy relationships a priority.
4. What stops you from letting yourself be happier?
Perhaps you delay your happiness until you have that new house, new job, or new relationship. Or, maybe you are feeling guilty about something from your past. Possibly, you have set unreachable standards for yourself. Maybe you’re holding onto a grudge or a resentment that belongs in the past.
Happiness is a choice. It is our natural state. We stop ourselves from being happy because we have this delusion that emotions just happen to us. We can learn to regulate our emotions, and choose happiness.
5. What causes you to overwork yourself?
Do you want new stuff? Are you competing with others for status? Perhaps you are overworking yourself to escape from an emotion or situation? Or, maybe you’re sacrificing your time and energy out of a feeling of duty or obligation.
Remember that you can’t take your stuff with you. Facing your problems and dealing with them is tough, but it’s tougher to be stuck in a miserable situation you hate, or to spend so much of your life accumulating money for yourself and your loved ones that you never get to spend time with your loved ones, or really be yourself.
Take a moment to write down your answers to these questions honestly, and in detail. Your answers to these questions are landmarks to look for throughout your day. Become aware of the landmarks when they appear. Pay attention to the thoughts and feelings you experience in those moments.
What images are you are seeing? What are the things are you telling yourself? Are these thoughts resourceful? Are they true?
How to know what you want in life
You need to know what you want. The more deeply you understand what’s important to you, the better choices you will make in each moment.
If you catch yourself in an unresourceful thought ask yourself, “Does this thought require immediate action?” If yes, then take action.
If the moment doesn’t require action, then witness and release your resistance. Ask yourself, “How can I let this be okay?” Ask yourself, “How can I be at peace with this, in this moment?”
Once you have let go of the unresourceful thoughts and emotions, you can begin moving towards your goals.