Perceptual Positions and the Meta Mirror

Self Image

Apologies, these notes are a little sloppy. I’m a bit crunched for time today. Today, I’m sharing my notes on perceptual positions and the meta mirror. Our perspective defines our experience. Learning to view situations from many perspectives builds empathy, regulates emotional response, and this is incredibly important. In the first perceptual position, you see … Read more

Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It!

If the problems I am dealing with were someone else’s problems, I would have great advice to give. Intellectually, I know good actions to take. Why don’t I take my own effing advice!? Apparently, I’m not alone in this struggle. Dan Ariely is a  behavioral economist, best-selling author and advice columnist for The Wall Street … Read more

Pacing, Leading & Rapport in the Real World

Pacing and leading are useful psychologically-based techniques for handling real-world disputes. We can quickly build rapport through pacing and leading. With established rapport, we can disagree with someone while keeping a good, solid relationship.  All About Pacing Pacing means matching someone. When you match someone, you enter their model of the world. Matching involves coming … Read more

How Wise is Your Mind?

In order to live more effective and balanced lives, it is good to integrate reason and emotion. This integration is known as the “wise mind.” People tend to operate with pure reason or with pure emotion.  By viewing the world through either lens, we miss the big picture.  It can feel cold and heartless to view events and … Read more

Keep it Simple, Lazarus

What is the Lazarus Technique? The Lazarus Technique in NLP calls us to simplify an issue into just one word, or sentence, or phrase. It’s the K.I.S.S. principle. Have you ever known someone who likes to dominate a conversation? Forcing such people to distill their comments, stories etc. into just one word or phrase. Have … Read more

Well-Formed Outcomes & Future-Pacing

Irish Paradise

Sometimes, we focus on what we don’t want, or on what could go wrong. This exercise flips the script, and makes us think, “What if everything goes right?” Before we dive into experiencing and future-pacing well-formed outcomes, let’s review the NLP jargon for the five main senses. Sensory Modalities: Your 5 Main Senses Visual → … Read more

Why Can’t You? Challenge Your Assumptions

Modal Operators

It’s important to challenge your assumptions. I’m going to give you a high-level overview of a couple of useful, interconnected conversational change strategies from NLP or neuro-linguistic programming: the meta model, and modal operators. The Meta Model People over-complicate the meta model. All you really need to remember is that the meta model asks simple … Read more

Present State to Desired State

Mind the Gap

“Present State to Desired State” is a fundamental model in NLP. The present state is where you are. The desired state is where you’re trying to go. The larger the gap between where you are and where you want to be, the more turmoil you’ll feel. The present state can also be called the comfort … Read more

Where You To?

George Street Stairs Newfoundland

In this post, we’ll discuss 4 money mindsets, overcoming obstacles and limiting beliefs, and using future pacing for lasting motivation and personal change. “Where you to” is a colourful expression from Newfoundland, Canada that means, where are you going?” It’s an important question to ask. It’s important to know where you are, figure out where … Read more

The Relational Triangle

Caution sign

According to NLP practitioners, we all make meanings based on relational comparisons. How we relate influences how we communicate. How we relate is a cause. How we communicate is an effect. We need to understand how we relate to take ownership of how we operate and create change in our relationships. Have you ever caught … Read more