Where You To?

In this post, we’ll discuss 4 money mindsets, overcoming obstacles and limiting beliefs, and using future pacing for lasting motivation and personal change.

“Where you to” is a colourful expression from Newfoundland, Canada that means, where are you going?” It’s an important question to ask. It’s important to know where you are, figure out where you want to go, and how to get there.

John Assaraf’s 4 Money Mindsets

John Assaraf details 4 money mindsets, and and explains the limiting beliefs associated with each one. If you get stuck, or if you’re having trouble even getting started, consider these mindsets.

  •  1)Scarcity:

A person with a scarcity mindset believes there is not enough time or money or resources. These people experience a never-ending sense of disempowerment and limitation. Believing there are not enough resources for everyone is a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy.

  • 2) Security:

People with a security mindset always have just enough. People with a security mindset are focused on stability, job security etc.

This mindset is particularly dangerous because it’s easy to resist change when you’re comfortable. Why work harder? Often people with a security mindset give up on bigger dreams and goals because they’re wired for safety and comfort.

These people get by, and typically have a decently comfortable lifestyle, but that’s all and never more than that.

  • 3) Success-Driven:

People with a success-driven mindset always have enough. There is never shortage.

Success-driven people are materially-focused, and may live paycheque to paycheque because they feel they need the external symbols of wealth.

These people know there is always a solution. They are confident, and feel successful, but they are not fulfilled. They know there is more to think and to be.

Sometimes success-driven people feel they know everything, so they have a hard time asking for help or getting a coach or mentor when they need it.

  • 4) Significance:

People with a significance mindset know that there is more than enough for everyone. These people live a wonderful life, and they delight in giving back, in being able to give back.

Significance-driven people live in abundance and harmony. In the pursuit of who they’ve become, these people know that who they are is enough.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Did you ever read a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book? They’re fun and teach an important life lesson without overtly teaching anything.

These books taught me that different choices produce different outcomes. Sure, it may seem obvious, but to a child, it’s a ground-breaking idea. And it applies in every area of life.

For example, you can read the 4 mindsets above, and you can choose what mindset to have. You do not need to be stuck in one choice or one way of thinking. You can change your mind, just like you change your shoes.

Full disclosure, I used to be a blend of the scarcity and security mindsets. I always had just enough to get by, but there was never enough to have extras, like vacations or dinner at a nice restaurant.

I’ve learned to master my emotional responses. I’ve learned to be committed, so now I look for, and find, solutions to the barriers to success. I’ve retrained my brain to believe what I choose!

When your reality sucks, ditch it! Choose the reality you want, and focus on programming that into your subconscious mind.

Start by learning to manage your emotions.

Procrastinate Much?

At one time, I considered myself the Queen of Procrastination. As you might imagine, having this as part of my self image did not make me incredibly successful. Thankfully, through controlling my emotions, I was able to relinquish the title.

Procrastination is one of the most common reasons people cite for not pursuing this goal or that goal. We know procrastinating will not help us get where we want to go.

I mean, you can leave those dishes in the sink, but they’re not gonna wash themselves. Leave them there long enough, and the results are gross.

In the same way, you can procrastinate, but everything you’re trying to avoid will still be there, only now you’ll also be extra-anxious about it because of the time that’s passed, or because you’re disappointed in yourself for not doing the things you know you should do.

If you’ve ever started something and not finished it, you might be procrastinating. Unfortunately this pattern easily becomes a habit which only increases your self-sabotaging procrastination. This becomes a circle of failure that reinforces and feeds itself.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

Procrastination is a pain avoidance tactic, pure and simple. That’s why so many people procrastinate. They imagine an action will lead to some kind of pain or discomfort, so they avoid acting.

Perhaps they do something else, or perhaps they do nothing at all. In either case, the sort of focused action that leads to success does not happen.

Whenever you try to make a change in your life, your brain will interpret that change (any change) as potentially dangerous. Then, your fear centre will activate to protect you from anticipated (imagined) pain.

Procrastination is an entirely emotional response. To achieve success, we must master our emotional responses.

Goodbye Procrastination!

We need to learn to be comfortable with discomfort. If not comfortable, we must, at least accept the discomfort, and stop resisting and avoiding it.

Whatever the thing is you’re avoiding, just do it. Even if it scares you, and you don’t trust yourself, do it anyway. This will help end the self-sabotaging cycle of failure, and it will help build your self image.

If you need to, imagine the cost of inaction, of settling. What stress or anxiety or bad feelings will you experience if you don’t act and stay stuck in the cycle of failure.

If the cost to you is not a strong enough motivator, consider the example you’re setting for other people in your life. Perhaps also work on your self image if you don’t feel you’re worth more than the cycle of failure.

Procrastination Ends With Action

After taking focused action, the inner critic holding you hostage is silenced. Over time, taking action instead of procrastinating gets easier.

Overcoming the inertia of inaction was always the hardest part for me. Maybe you feel the same way? When you don’t wanna, remember, beginning is hard, but once you get some momentum, action-taking gets easier.

Procrastination does not serve you, action does. Take inspired action towards your goals in spite of your fears. Take 3-6 deep breaths, and give yourself a “1-2-3-go!” count if you need it.

It won’t be comfortable. However, only when you stop resisting your fear, and step into it, will you experience growth.

You may need to change your mindset. You need to expect and believe in your success before you will achieve it.

Obstacle Illusions

Don’t believe everything you think. I’m gonna pull an Obi Wan, and say, “These are not the obstacles you’re looking for.”

Often we think our obstacles are something external:

  • I don’t have the time…
  • I don’t have the money…
  • I don’t have the right technology…

Understand that every obstacle you face is somehow rooted in your self-image. If you lack self-esteem and self worth, your inner critic will control you.

When your inner critic controls you, it does not motivate you to do better. No! Instead, it drags you into a cycle of doom and hopelessness.

Feeling unworthy or “less that” will lead to a life of settling. You’ll settle for being treated like crap. You’ll settle for less than the full expression of your awesome and amazing spirit.

You need to find that place inside where your fears and obstacles live. Then, you need to expand your self image so that you KNOW  you can rise above your obstacles. You’re bigger than they are. You control them.

Now What?

Instead of saying, “I can’t do it.” Ask yourself, “How can I do it?” This is a great way to pause and reframe your limiting belief, so that you can overcome it.

Shift from “I can’t” to “I can.” It might be hard, but staying the same is harder.

You have unlimited potential. You are worthy of every success and happiness. No matter what is in your way, you can conquer it, starting now.

Being critical with yourself hurts your self image, and leads to more procrastination and “I don’t wanna” self talk. To be the best version of yourself, and experience lifelong success, you need to reprogram you subconscious mind, and build a more positive self image.

Future-Pacing Exercise

To begin, ask yourself how achieving your goal will feel. Really imagine it in detail. Get all of your senses involved: smell, taste, touch/feeling, hearing, sight

  • Where are you
  • What are you wearing
  • How are you talking and moving
  • Who are you with
  • Where do you live
  • How much money do you make
  • What charities do you support
  • Who do you give back to
  • How much free time to you have
  • How do you spend your money and your time
  • Do you travel
  • Do you have adventures
  • What sort of car do you drive
  • What sorts of things do you own
  • How does it feel to have achieved your goal
  • etc.

Imagine it’s five years after you achieved your goal. What does your life look like then? How has your success increased? Go through the questions again.

Now imagine it’s ten years after you’ve achieved your goal. What does that future you experience? Use your creative imagination, and make sure you involve your senses.

My Final Word

You have a current money mindset, scarcity, security, success or significance driven. If you don’t like your current mindset you can change it.

Change scares the brain and triggers your fear response, and this can make you procrastinate. Procrastination is a pain avoidance tactic. We must learn to master our emotions, and take inspired, focused action in spite of our fears.

The obstacles we face are almost always rooted in self-esteem issues. We need to build our self image to support our success. Meanwhile, it’s important to consciously reframe our limiting beliefs and affirm our worthiness.

Creative visualization using future pacing is an excellent strategy that  sends new stories and messages to your subconscious mind, builds your self image, and increases your motivation. To future pace, use all your senses to imagine making a change or experiencing a success. Then, carry that change into the future another 5 and 10 years.

If we are currently unsuccessful, and we want to experience success, we must change. Change, lasting change MUST stem from the self image.

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